The legal system is very complicated. We live in a litigious society and no where is that more apparent than in the medical field. Malpractice claims have risen significantly over the past ten years. Doctors have ever increasingly aired on the side of caution and that's why having an advanced directive is so important. There are different types of directives so I recommend consulting an attorney to make sure that all your bases are covered.
In the Beginning
No one wants to believe they are going to die. It's clear that throughout our lives Western culture keeps death as a taboo subject so we're rarely prepared. At the time of your diagnosis, after the shock wears off, is a good time to sit down with the important people in your life to discuss your views, opinions and decisions about medical treatment. We're really focusing on what happens if you aren't competent to make a decision on your own behalf.
You'll hear lawyers, doctors, and hospital social workers discuss Durable Powers of Attorney for Healthcare and Living Wills. Consulting an attorney is important because some states view the Living Will as a guiding document, but not one that is legally binding for decision making. Make sure you have all the bases covered (by consulting and attorney) and that you're wishes are going to followed. It can mean the difference between peace of mind, and immense suffering.
The other document you should have available is a will. This isn't about planning to die; this is about protecting you and your family. Clarity is important in every step when facing a serious illness; leave nothing to chance.
Selecting Your Proxy
Your proxy is the person who if you're unable to speak for yourself will speak for you. You authorize this person to make decisions on your behalf if you aren't capable of making a rational, coherent decision. It's important that you put all your wishes in the document. The decisions include everything from resuscitation, to pain control, and how long if at all will you be kept alive on machines and final arrangements for death and burial.
The crucial point is to have someone who agrees with all your decisions. You want to make sure they are completely in agreement and are willing to carry out your wishes. Don't think it has to be a family member. I've been asked to serve as someone's Durable Power of Attorney because they didn't feel their family members were capable of making the tough decisions about end of life care.
When taking care of your legal arrangements you're taking control of your life. In no way does it mean you're resigning yourself to dying. It does mean that you want to have a say in what happens should something beyond your control take place. This isn't about giving up hope, but empowering yourself to be clear about how you want to live your life, even if you can't make the decision consciously. It also shows the trust you have in others by entrusting them to carry out your wishes.